O' my Lord!
Writing is just
For my own,
For the people who know me
Not for you and your awareness
You know me better than myself
O' my Lord!
I have stood like a candle
I have made myself ready to be burned to the end
And I do have one final desire, prayer
I beg you!
Just to let me be alone in this road
The only worry I have
Is harming beloved ones
And that is your power, knowledge
That can prevent this
I love the entire freedom!
Freedom to the max
And this is my big sin!!
Possible freedom in its max!
Leads to ...
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Sunday, March 06, 2005
The lost!
Sometimes you feel the loneliest and you are!! I'm now in that situation!
Feeling deep in my heart the lack of loneliness in the universe! Floating freely without having to think about others!
I say others because it is a long time I have forgotten I! I do not exist anymore! It is a long time! Maybe since the time I realized my family, I realized the eyes of a woman holding arms of his blind spouse walking solitarily in the freezing weather of my hometown!
I have let myself feel freedom in its utmost, most of the time!
Now it is one of those in which I really miss my expectations.
He knows them all but lets me alone so that I enjoy more than expected. He and I have lots of things in common and a few differences which makes him much higher!
But he has and I don't. He knows and I don't. He sees and I don't.
I'm completely being ignored, exactly the way I desire!
This is my own decision!
I miss feeling, seeing, knowing, having, ability and I like it! Otherwise I had so many other things to do, to fulfill to care about to... to... and so many other tooooooooos.
I'm lucky that I am not in his place and that I don't have his abilities.
otherwise he would be in my place appealing and asking me to ....!!!
Feeling deep in my heart the lack of loneliness in the universe! Floating freely without having to think about others!
I say others because it is a long time I have forgotten I! I do not exist anymore! It is a long time! Maybe since the time I realized my family, I realized the eyes of a woman holding arms of his blind spouse walking solitarily in the freezing weather of my hometown!
I have let myself feel freedom in its utmost, most of the time!
Now it is one of those in which I really miss my expectations.
He knows them all but lets me alone so that I enjoy more than expected. He and I have lots of things in common and a few differences which makes him much higher!
But he has and I don't. He knows and I don't. He sees and I don't.
I'm completely being ignored, exactly the way I desire!
This is my own decision!
I miss feeling, seeing, knowing, having, ability and I like it! Otherwise I had so many other things to do, to fulfill to care about to... to... and so many other tooooooooos.
I'm lucky that I am not in his place and that I don't have his abilities.
otherwise he would be in my place appealing and asking me to ....!!!
Execution coordination meeting No 6 !
In the evening an immediate execution coordination meeting was agreed to be held. It was 4:30 that Martin, Christian, Mr rad, Our site manager and I were present in client's office to discuss current issues of the project.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Blissful bombardment!!!
Early this morning...
"I was in a kindergarten looking for a job opportunity to teach the kids and I was thinking about my deep interest in teaching and how to tell them about this.
There was then a big food table and it seemed that everyone is going to eat food. But they had to pray before starting to eat. And I was among them. I was passing by in front of the prayers to join them that I saw the man in front is putting a piece of food into his mouth, I thought he may be ill and can not fast. At the same time I could see Mahsa alone in a room. It seemed that she was not safe there!!But Mahsa had to sleep in there!! I was worried about this, and then the big shock came. I wonder if it was my own decision or a gracious voice from outside... (Taking care of Mahsa is much important than praying!!!) ".
I got up hastily and opened my eyes... I could say nothing but remembering my morning dream... went to bath and got ready to come to the office .... It was raining outside...
"I was in a kindergarten looking for a job opportunity to teach the kids and I was thinking about my deep interest in teaching and how to tell them about this.
There was then a big food table and it seemed that everyone is going to eat food. But they had to pray before starting to eat. And I was among them. I was passing by in front of the prayers to join them that I saw the man in front is putting a piece of food into his mouth, I thought he may be ill and can not fast. At the same time I could see Mahsa alone in a room. It seemed that she was not safe there!!But Mahsa had to sleep in there!! I was worried about this, and then the big shock came. I wonder if it was my own decision or a gracious voice from outside... (Taking care of Mahsa is much important than praying!!!) ".
I got up hastily and opened my eyes... I could say nothing but remembering my morning dream... went to bath and got ready to come to the office .... It was raining outside...
Friday, March 04, 2005
www.floweroftheeast.com
The project
A 2 billion euros residential project consisting of a 7 stars Hotel named Flower of the East Hotel and marina, deluxe villas, apartments, golf club, shopping centers and other facilities.
The project is located in northeast of Kish Island, Persian Gulf.
After preliminary steps were taken such as surveying works and production of drawings, the first stage of execution works started in February 2004 by installing several machineries in order to produce pre cast concrete elements for an 8000 meter compound wall around the whole area which was approximately 238 hectares.
Client
The client is Flower of the East development company in Kish and Flower of the East projekt-GmbH in Duisborg – Germany.
Mr. Khodayar Alambeigi leads the group of investors. He is managing the Hansa chemie in Duisborg as well.
Project management
Drees & Sommer International with offices in Koln and Dubai manages the project. Key men are Mr. Jatzke in Germany, Mr. Stephan Konzelmznn in Dubai.
Engineer
Thalen consult GmbH of Neuenburg has got the responsibility of production of drawings for compound wall and supervision tasks. Mr. Martin Oltmanns from Thalen has been installed in the Island as site supervisor since April 2004.
Contractor
Hampa Engineering Corp. which is an Iranian company was appointed as contractor for construction works of compound wall in January 2004.
I have been working for Hampa since 27th April 2004 as point of contact and deputy site manager.
A 2 billion euros residential project consisting of a 7 stars Hotel named Flower of the East Hotel and marina, deluxe villas, apartments, golf club, shopping centers and other facilities.
The project is located in northeast of Kish Island, Persian Gulf.
After preliminary steps were taken such as surveying works and production of drawings, the first stage of execution works started in February 2004 by installing several machineries in order to produce pre cast concrete elements for an 8000 meter compound wall around the whole area which was approximately 238 hectares.
Client
The client is Flower of the East development company in Kish and Flower of the East projekt-GmbH in Duisborg – Germany.
Mr. Khodayar Alambeigi leads the group of investors. He is managing the Hansa chemie in Duisborg as well.
Project management
Drees & Sommer International with offices in Koln and Dubai manages the project. Key men are Mr. Jatzke in Germany, Mr. Stephan Konzelmznn in Dubai.
Engineer
Thalen consult GmbH of Neuenburg has got the responsibility of production of drawings for compound wall and supervision tasks. Mr. Martin Oltmanns from Thalen has been installed in the Island as site supervisor since April 2004.
Contractor
Hampa Engineering Corp. which is an Iranian company was appointed as contractor for construction works of compound wall in January 2004.
I have been working for Hampa since 27th April 2004 as point of contact and deputy site manager.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Busy days
It is just afew days to norooz, the most important persian holidays for beginning a new year and spring on 21st March.
Several issues have made me busy thinking about.
The family's affection of my marriage problem,
The project's weird situation in the Island,
and my personal feelings and desires which are showing up again recently.
Several issues have made me busy thinking about.
The family's affection of my marriage problem,
The project's weird situation in the Island,
and my personal feelings and desires which are showing up again recently.
Monday, February 28, 2005
appeal
Beyond minute!
dashing particles appeared in a mass!
**
In need indeed!
hardly any
consequently
made out that need.
They all plead.
**
dashing particles appeared in a mass!
**
In need indeed!
hardly any
consequently
made out that need.
They all plead.
**
باز هم دعا
از وقتی برگشته ام خواب حرامم شده ومانند گنگی خسته و بیروح منتظرم ببینم که چه پیش خواهد آمد. شب ها تفریح غالبم تماشای تلویزیون است و اگرپا بدهد خواندن رمانی و روزنامکی. دیشب ٣ بعد از نصف شب بزور خوابم برد. فشار خونم و فشار جونم هر دو غیر طبیعی بودند و نهایتا" درحالی که سعی میکردم خودم را تسکین دهم بالاخره خوابم برد.م
آنچه گمگشته خود میبینم و بواقع با تمام ذرات وجودم می یابمش، معرفت و حکمتی است درخور، که می بایستی می بود و( فعلا") نیست !م
آن که به دردی دچار میشود سراغ درمان همان درد را میگیرد وازاندیشهٔ رنجی که مدتی پس از آن و درصف متوالی مصائبی که سلسله وار بشر را مبتلا میسازند، غافل میماند و چون بلا درمی رسد دوباره در اندیشهٔ چاره ای دیگر و بازهمان ... .م
یک لحظه خواستم جمله ای بنویسم که مطلع و اصل مطلبش با "کاشکی" بود . پاک کردم ؛ که "کاش" در مرام من شرک است.م
جهان در احسن حال خود است و ما از آن حُسن فاصله میگیریم و چنین است که به " دعا " چنگ میزنیم و فقط می خواهیم . چرا که تنها چیزی که بشر می تواند بدان در سر حد کمال نهایی دست یابد و بخود ببالد خواستن است و البته کم چیزی نیست ! و میتواند راه رستگاری را چنان هموارکند که انسان را در بهت و حیرت فرو برد .م
خواستن مرامی است بی اشتباه و بی خلل . مگر آنگاه که بی حکمت و شناخت بدان توسل شود که فتنه ها می انگیزد و یأس های خانمان سوز.م
یکی از زیباترین نعمت های هدیه شده از سوی رکن دوم هدایت نوین بشری به تمام بشریت فرهنگ دعا ست. سرچشمه آن دردعاهای آدم ابوالبشراست و از نقطه عطف آن در نیایشهای موسی و مسیح و پیامبر اسلام و ائمه به طرز حیرت انگیزی به سوی موعود آخرالزمان اوج میگیرد.م
دعا و خواستن با پیشرفت علم و افزایش آگاهی با پیرایه هایی که پیرامون هسته تغییر ناپذیر و ثابت خود می بندد زیباتر و دلنشین تر میگردد و زمینه بکری است برای پروراندن درست اندیشه ها و آب حیاتی در کوزه تک تک ما که از آن سخت غافلیم : نیاز ها و دردهای ما به دعاهایمان و دعاهامان به حکمت و معرفتمان گرهی سخت میخورند و کلیدی بدست میدهند که هرقفل ناگشودنی بدان باز می شود.م
آنچه گمگشته خود میبینم و بواقع با تمام ذرات وجودم می یابمش، معرفت و حکمتی است درخور، که می بایستی می بود و( فعلا") نیست !م
آن که به دردی دچار میشود سراغ درمان همان درد را میگیرد وازاندیشهٔ رنجی که مدتی پس از آن و درصف متوالی مصائبی که سلسله وار بشر را مبتلا میسازند، غافل میماند و چون بلا درمی رسد دوباره در اندیشهٔ چاره ای دیگر و بازهمان ... .م
یک لحظه خواستم جمله ای بنویسم که مطلع و اصل مطلبش با "کاشکی" بود . پاک کردم ؛ که "کاش" در مرام من شرک است.م
جهان در احسن حال خود است و ما از آن حُسن فاصله میگیریم و چنین است که به " دعا " چنگ میزنیم و فقط می خواهیم . چرا که تنها چیزی که بشر می تواند بدان در سر حد کمال نهایی دست یابد و بخود ببالد خواستن است و البته کم چیزی نیست ! و میتواند راه رستگاری را چنان هموارکند که انسان را در بهت و حیرت فرو برد .م
خواستن مرامی است بی اشتباه و بی خلل . مگر آنگاه که بی حکمت و شناخت بدان توسل شود که فتنه ها می انگیزد و یأس های خانمان سوز.م
یکی از زیباترین نعمت های هدیه شده از سوی رکن دوم هدایت نوین بشری به تمام بشریت فرهنگ دعا ست. سرچشمه آن دردعاهای آدم ابوالبشراست و از نقطه عطف آن در نیایشهای موسی و مسیح و پیامبر اسلام و ائمه به طرز حیرت انگیزی به سوی موعود آخرالزمان اوج میگیرد.م
دعا و خواستن با پیشرفت علم و افزایش آگاهی با پیرایه هایی که پیرامون هسته تغییر ناپذیر و ثابت خود می بندد زیباتر و دلنشین تر میگردد و زمینه بکری است برای پروراندن درست اندیشه ها و آب حیاتی در کوزه تک تک ما که از آن سخت غافلیم : نیاز ها و دردهای ما به دعاهایمان و دعاهامان به حکمت و معرفتمان گرهی سخت میخورند و کلیدی بدست میدهند که هرقفل ناگشودنی بدان باز می شود.م
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Cherished loneliness!
eye, heart, wish and adore,
failing ones! fading ones!!
all really disobey,
closing the eyes,
breaking the hearts!!
disregarding wish and adore!!
in a great surrender and obey!!
*
an enormous desire,
is left unanswered today!!
*
solitude,
we deserved,
and we were,
kept away!!!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Prayer - 2
O' My Lord
You are surely;
All knowing, aware,
So merciful that
for everyone you care,
O' My Lord
You yourelf please compare,
Shall I not ask you something rare?
Something which has the highest fare?
Yeah, You are probably aware of my being bare!
Here is my wish, desire and pray;
Clothe me totally with whom you know is my definite pair!
You are surely;
All knowing, aware,
So merciful that
for everyone you care,
O' My Lord
You yourelf please compare,
Shall I not ask you something rare?
Something which has the highest fare?
Yeah, You are probably aware of my being bare!
Here is my wish, desire and pray;
Clothe me totally with whom you know is my definite pair!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Prayer - 1
You definitely know me in a way
which is the best possible.
O my Lord,
my praiseworthy creator,
with me and by me
is the all least performances!
As everything with and by you is,
I pray and ask for your all "the best possibles!"
which is the best possible.
O my Lord,
my praiseworthy creator,
with me and by me
is the all least performances!
As everything with and by you is,
I pray and ask for your all "the best possibles!"
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
آدمیات - 1
دیشب باران زده و امروز صبح هوای جزیره به هوای بهشت میماند. باد ملایم و دریای آبی آبی و آسمان رمزآلود. البته هواشناسی گفته بود که از سه شنبه هوا بارانی خواهد بود. مناظر بدیع جزیره و مخصوصا" مقابل دفتر ما که از بهترین قسمتهای ساحلی هست هر بیننده ای رو مات و مبهوت و مقهور خودش می کند." اگر چشمان ما و حواس ما قادر به درک زیبایی ها نیستند و عاملی لازم است که پرده ها را کنار بزند و غبارها را بزداید که ما هر چند برای لحظاتی اندک قادر به درک آنها باشیم تقصیر زیبایی ها نیست . و آن کس که با پالایش درون و برون خویش چنان لحظه ها را به ساعت و گاه روز بدل گردانیده مجنون و منحرف و بیچاره نیست . همچو ذات اصیل آدمی عاشق و عارف است . آدم است .م
Monday, January 17, 2005
Strange story
It's a strange story,
the story of the man,
in relation to the others,
passion has become an interference,
rather than a positive preference!
the walls surrounding the minds,
the borders drawn by others,
the minds of,
the borders by,
the problem,
which man should solve!
"man does love!"
the more strange story,
the story of the man,
in relation to God,
"Creator, Initiator, Gracious, Aware"
foggy , dusty , uneven path,
the man believes,
the man prays,
the man is fully engaged,
there is an empty place,
for the one who bridges!
the wide gap in between.
"man does love!"
the most strange story!
the communication between,
beloved seen,
and
beloved believed.
the story of the man,
in relation to the others,
passion has become an interference,
rather than a positive preference!
the walls surrounding the minds,
the borders drawn by others,
the minds of,
the borders by,
the problem,
which man should solve!
"man does love!"
the more strange story,
the story of the man,
in relation to God,
"Creator, Initiator, Gracious, Aware"
foggy , dusty , uneven path,
the man believes,
the man prays,
the man is fully engaged,
there is an empty place,
for the one who bridges!
the wide gap in between.
"man does love!"
the most strange story!
the communication between,
beloved seen,
and
beloved believed.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Dialog
I can't bear the situation!
This really breaks me down into pieces!!
This is not what I had asked you for!
A really unacceptable case.
HEY - YOU
STOP !
NOW YOU !!
YOU THE TINIEST!
YOU THE MOST WEAK!
YOU ARE ASKED FOR A SMALLEST POSSIBLE!
This really breaks me down into pieces!!
This is not what I had asked you for!
A really unacceptable case.
HEY - YOU
STOP !
NOW YOU !!
YOU THE TINIEST!
YOU THE MOST WEAK!
YOU ARE ASKED FOR A SMALLEST POSSIBLE!
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Night
They passed by
paying no attention to me!
I was almost shouting:
" Get out of my house!!
Leave!
I deeply believe in my God's recitings, verses, lyrics, path and travelling."
paying no attention to me!
I was almost shouting:
" Get out of my house!!
Leave!
I deeply believe in my God's recitings, verses, lyrics, path and travelling."
Professor Ali Muhammad Sharif - 1
It was in the final stage of Quranic competitions - English translation of Holy Quran - that I first met him.
Arak Azad University- 27 December1993
He looked like a messenger from heaven for me. His face, appearance, calmness, peace and mainly the way he was speaking and reciting verses from holy Quran influenced almost every body in the session.
I nearly forgot the competition and didn't care about it any more. I thought this is a turning point in my life and didn't care if I can get more points to be among the first three, recieving prizes. Tears were coming and I couldn't help.
He could speak in more than 14 languages and had studied in Iraq , Lebanon and Egypt and was an expert in Quranic sciences and other religions.
The competition finished and I went to him. I asked a few questions and he answered them with patience.I thought I had found the teacher I was looking for a long time.
Talking to him and getting guidance and lessons from him could really change my life and forward me as much as I even couldn't believe before.
He was Professor Ali Muhammad Sharif and leaving me in the deepest sorrow and everlasting sadness, departed this life 2 weeks later.(God bless him)
I will write more about him shortly.
12 January 2005 - Kish
Arak Azad University- 27 December1993
He looked like a messenger from heaven for me. His face, appearance, calmness, peace and mainly the way he was speaking and reciting verses from holy Quran influenced almost every body in the session.
I nearly forgot the competition and didn't care about it any more. I thought this is a turning point in my life and didn't care if I can get more points to be among the first three, recieving prizes. Tears were coming and I couldn't help.
He could speak in more than 14 languages and had studied in Iraq , Lebanon and Egypt and was an expert in Quranic sciences and other religions.
The competition finished and I went to him. I asked a few questions and he answered them with patience.I thought I had found the teacher I was looking for a long time.
Talking to him and getting guidance and lessons from him could really change my life and forward me as much as I even couldn't believe before.
He was Professor Ali Muhammad Sharif and leaving me in the deepest sorrow and everlasting sadness, departed this life 2 weeks later.(God bless him)
I will write more about him shortly.
12 January 2005 - Kish
شهد رویا
اومدن از جلوم رد شدن
یکی یکی
و با نگاه هایی که
رو قلبم بدجوری فشار اومد
مادر پدرچرا اونا منو تحویل نمی گیرن ؟چرا؟از خونه من برن بیرونمن به دیکلمه - سرود - راه و مسافرت خدای خودم ایمان دارم
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